I sat in the nurse practitioner’s office knowing that the results of my colonscopy were not going to be good.  I had been vaguely conscious toward the end of the procedure, and heard the doctor comment that he wanted her to see these results, that the inflammation was bad.  I didn’t remember much of this until I sat in her chair awaiting the verdict.  That’s how it felt–that I was there to be told my fate.  I was grateful that she said there was no sign of polyps or cancer.  After all, I’d had bad symptoms for quite a while–almost…